He watched Yan go to the window, looking confused. Tsuki then jumped up at Yan’s threat, and ran over to him and grabbed. “You can’t! I know I can’t take back what happened, but killing yourself isn’t the answer.” Tears formed in his eyes. “Is it really so bad to do it with me that you’d do rather die?” He looked down. “I’m sorry I’m not someone else.” The tears flowed freely now. I’m so useless…No one wants me…
Yan struggled lightly in Tsuki’s grip but listened to the other’s words. Even like this Tsuki jumped at him in concern and care. It only made Yan’s mouth twitch more in a frown.
He could tell that the other had tears in his eyes by now and that got to Yan ever more. ‘No, don’t cry. Don’t push me,' were the thoughts racing through the brunet's mind as it became harder to breathe.
"I’m not going to kill myself because it was the worst possible experience! I’m going to kill myself because it wasn’t!!" he snapped as he turned around to face Tsuki with an embarrassed expression. "It’s because I ended up remembering how good it was! How gentle but firm and secure your hands felt on me. How I loved the passion and ca—aaahhh! No, no, no I didn’t say anything!" Yan was so caught up in the moment and emotion that he started babbling off the top of his head.
The yandere sunk to his knees and collided his head with the window sill as he covered his red face with his hands and the sheets. He mumbled and berated himself angrily.